So, I was going through an old garbage bag of clothes that was supposed to be given to charity like four years ago but never got around to it, and came across a few shirts and pants I liked. I wasn't sure whether or not they fit, since I am actually smaller now than I was six years ago when I got them. So I tried on one of these nice Ralph Lauren Polos. Nope, too tight. I check the tag for the size, and I realize it doesn't say "Ralph Lauren" anywhere on the tag. I look and look. No Polo. But I see the Polo pony embroidery is there on the right chest of the shirt. I turn it inside out and see the messy array of knotted threads on the opposite side of the pony. This. Is. A. FAKE. I look at two more shirts and a pair of pants. Abercrombie Moose, Ralph Lauren Pony, Moose, Pony, Moose, Pony...But no mention of Abercrombie or Ralph Lauren on any of these tags! Cond it be? All fakes!? Yes. Messy threads beneath all of these embroideries. THE DECEIT! SANA DID THIS! SEWING ZOO ANIMALS ALL OVER MY CLOTHES MAKING ME THINK THEY DESIGNA!?
And at that moment I loved Sana more than I ever had before.
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Red Whale
Well. Since SOME people think my discussion of art and talent is growing threadbare and unoriginal *cough*soulless short ginger wenches*cough* I'll rant about fat kids. Hopefully that will provide some entertainment for the world's biggest undeserving diva.
So this lardo kid who I now hate, (and just happens to have red hair. Hm, interesting,) comes into Froyoz with his mom and sisters, and he grabs a cup and starts filling up with chocolate yogurt. After the machine has been dispensing for approximately eight minutes, which is about 13 pounds of yogurt, and his mother has kindly asked him about four times to stop and told him he has enough--no, way more than enough--she tries to pull the machine lever up, so it will stop dispensing... And this little profanity slapped her hand away! YOU LITTLE COW YOU WOULD BEAT UP YOUR OWN MOTHER FOR ICE CREAM? I WILL JUMP OVER THIS COUNTER AND SLAY YOU AND SELL YOUR BODY TO MACDONALDS TO MAKE BIGMACS!
So, instead of beating the hell out of this demonic walrus, she says, look at all the delicious toppings over there you wanna leave room for those don't you? So lardo finally releases the handle and waddles over to the topping bar and STICKS HIS PUDGY HAND IN THE BROWNIE CONTAINER and grabs like three and stuffs em straight into his mouth. EXCUSE ME FOOL! YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THAT I HAVE A HARPOON RIGHT HERE UNDER THIS COUNTER TAKE ANOTHA BITE! TAKE IT! OOOHHHHHHHHH I SWEEAAR!
Fin.
So this lardo kid who I now hate, (and just happens to have red hair. Hm, interesting,) comes into Froyoz with his mom and sisters, and he grabs a cup and starts filling up with chocolate yogurt. After the machine has been dispensing for approximately eight minutes, which is about 13 pounds of yogurt, and his mother has kindly asked him about four times to stop and told him he has enough--no, way more than enough--she tries to pull the machine lever up, so it will stop dispensing... And this little profanity slapped her hand away! YOU LITTLE COW YOU WOULD BEAT UP YOUR OWN MOTHER FOR ICE CREAM? I WILL JUMP OVER THIS COUNTER AND SLAY YOU AND SELL YOUR BODY TO MACDONALDS TO MAKE BIGMACS!
So, instead of beating the hell out of this demonic walrus, she says, look at all the delicious toppings over there you wanna leave room for those don't you? So lardo finally releases the handle and waddles over to the topping bar and STICKS HIS PUDGY HAND IN THE BROWNIE CONTAINER and grabs like three and stuffs em straight into his mouth. EXCUSE ME FOOL! YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THAT I HAVE A HARPOON RIGHT HERE UNDER THIS COUNTER TAKE ANOTHA BITE! TAKE IT! OOOHHHHHHHHH I SWEEAAR!
Fin.
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